Never forget

I twist the pieces of mirror in my hands, re-arranging them into different shapes 
I twist the memories in my mind, trying to paint them a different color
But you are always there,
You are always haunting the hallways
And tunnels
And locked up cupboards shoved between forbidden file cabinets
In the nightmarish mazes that twist upwards around my heart
And clench their fingers around my throat
Saying, “Never forget. Never forget.
You are nothing. You are forgotten.
I
Never forget.”
 
You know, you are different now
That you are gone.
You are thinner,
Lighter,
Like you could spread your wings and
Be blown away in the wind.
I try to catch you
To fly away
Wrapping the kite strings around my hands
Until my fingers turn blue.
“Never forget.”
The strings snap.
 
The world churns and rocks madly
Tossing the people inside it like waves
And we try to balance on the telephone wires
That cut our hands
And shock our feet.
I feel like my head is b r e a k i n g  o p e n
But everyone keeps walking and living and breathing.
They smile,
But all I see is your memory leering at me
Smirking your half grin
That once made my world make sense.

But when he smiles,

When he smiles,
You melt away

Forgotten

The fingers r e l e a s i n g
The voice gurgling and sputtering,
Until I can believe that
Maybe

I am worth something after all.

~effervescent laughter